


Assassination Vacation

by Amerna



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Assassination attempts, Bearded Steve Rogers, Christmas/holiday theme (if you squint), F/M, Vacation, holiday flirt, probably incorrect portrayal of a Caribbean island I have never been to
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-19
Updated: 2017-12-19
Packaged: 2019-02-17 05:50:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13070436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amerna/pseuds/Amerna
Summary: After being fired from her job and finding her fiancé in bed with another woman three days before their wedding, Darcy’s life is in shambles just in time for Christmas. So she decides to spend her honeymoon alone on a Caribbean island. But a chance encounter with a handsome stranger might point her life into an entirely different direction.





	Assassination Vacation

**Author's Note:**

> This story takes place on St. Barth's. The island was devastated by Hurricane Irma. I know that there were a lot of requests for donations this year already, with all the natural disasters going on, but please consider giving to the [Hurricane Irma Relief Fund.](https://www.globalgiving.org/projects/hurricane-irma-relief-fund/)
> 
> Many thanks to Em_Jaye for enabling me and to Lady Aztec-Syren for beta reading! Title (but nothing else) stolen from the book by Sarah Vowell.

### Assassination Vacation

When the island of St. Barth’s came into view, Darcy took a deep breath. Then she wrangled her engagement ring off her finger and threw it into the ocean. It was better this way, she and Mark, they were over.

A lawyer at a DC non-profit, he had swept her off her feet. They’d been happy – until she’d caught him in bed with another woman three days before their scheduled wedding. And not just any random woman, but her maid of honor.

After a day of crying, Darcy had sent an email to all the wedding guests announcing the cancellation, got in touch with all the vendors (they probably wouldn’t get their deposit back), made arrangements to have the cake delivered to a local homeless shelter, reassured her parents that she was alright, and then went on their honeymoon – alone because they had planned to get married a week before Christmas and then spend the holidays honeymooning. Now, none of her friends had time to come with her because they were either too caught up in the busy holiday season or, in Jane’s case, neck-deep into science.

Darcy hadn’t opened her emails since checking in her flight. She didn’t want to read all the pitying messages and underlying jabs that some had made non-cancellable arrangements (flights, hotels, etc.) already. She wanted to deal with all those aspects when she was back home and just sit at the beach and nurse her broken heart all by herself for a while.

She probably didn’t have a home any longer though, since it was Mark’s DC apartment she’d moved into. It was alright. Her years with Jane crossing the globe had taught her that things didn’t matter that much anyway so she didn’t have many personal belongings. She could send one of her friends in a few days to collect them and to keep them safe until Darcy returned.

Her entire life was in shambles. The reason she’d caught Mark with Stephanie was that Darcy had been fired from her job and been home early. A few days earlier, while running an expense report, she had noted some irregularities in the system. She had notified her supervisor – two days later she got fired. Darcy knew that this was wrong, that she had tried to do the right thing, that there were whistleblower protection laws but a lawsuit could take years and she couldn’t really afford a lawyer right now.

And Darcy had hated the job anyway. It had been Mark’s idea, too, to work there. It was something solid and dependable, something entirely too boring.

But she would have to go job hunting once more, probably find another 9 to 5 job she didn’t particularly enjoy but paid for rent and groceries. That or move back in with her parents while she tried to get her life in order. She missed the excitement, the adventures she’d had working with Jane. Why couldn’t she find a job like that but in the political arena?

Upon disembarking the ferry Darcy noticed much to her chagrin that the annoying guy who had been on the phone almost the entire ride was headed to the same hotel. She briefly wondered what his deal was but then decided simply not to care.

The driver brought them both to the resort complex and Darcy handed over her reservation paperwork at the check-in.

The woman at the reception desk smiled at her broadly. “We have your beachside villa ready for you, Mrs. Kerner. Will your husband arrive at a later time?” she asked when she noticed that Darcy was standing alone in front of her.

“It’s still Miss Lewis and I’m travelling alone.”

The receptionist’s eyes widened when the underlying meaning of those words registered, but she caught herself after a split second.

“Of course, Miss Lewis. We have arranged everything according to your specifications.”

“You no longer need to deliver 4 avocados in the morning. They were for my ex-fiancé.”

“We appreciate you informing us about this.” The receptionist typed away on her computer for a second. “Now, our records indicate that you suffer from a severe peanut allergy, is that correct?” she then asked.

“That is correct.”

“Excellent, we have done everything in our power to accommodate you.”

~*~

Her first few days in her beachside villa were excellent and relaxing. She felt great just lounging around in her bikini. She’d been on a five-month diet to fit into her wedding dress, which now paid off at least somewhat. She lay in the sun with an unlimited supply of tropical cocktails, made a significant dent in her to be read pile, and caught up on all the sleep she’d lost during the last few weeks of wedding preparations.

She barely thought about Mark or the life that waited for her once she left the island.

She saw few of the other guest during the first two days – but one particularly annoying specimen on her third day. She was in the middle of reading her third book, when somebody approached her.

Darcy looked up over the rim of her sunglasses and stared at the guy in annoyance.

He leered at her. “Excuse me, but I think I dropped something,” he then announced. “My jaw.”

Darcy sighed internally, but didn’t condescend one of the worst pick-up lines in history with a reply. Instead she waved down a waiter who was just walking past. “Excuse me,” she said, handling him her empty cocktail glass, “can you please make me a new drink so that I can throw it into this guy’s face?”

The waiter stared at her in surprise for a moment but then took her glass and disappeared.

“Aw, come on sweetheart,” the guy said. “Don’t be that way.”

Darcy still didn’t reply.

Creepy Dude sat down on the beach chair next to her. He stared up and down her body. “Come on, a cute girl like you, being here all by herself.”

Darcy rolled her eyes behind her sunglasses.

“I had to come over because that booty is slammin’. I came looking for a treasure on this island I think I found it in your chest.”

Darcy closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She removed her sunglasses and pointedly looked at the ring on his left finger. “I’m just going to say this once: Move along. I’m sooo not interested.”

Creepy Dude smiled sleazily. “Honey, don’t be that way.”

“The lady said she wanted to be left alone,” another male voice spoke up behind her. Darcy turned around and resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Great, Annoying Phone Guy from the ferry was putting in his two cents as well in some mistaken attempt at chivalry.

He came standing on the other side of Darcy’s beach chair and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“And you are?” Creepy Dude asked.

“The guy telling you to leave her alone.”

Creepy Dude looked between Darcy and Annoying Phone Guy for a moment, then he got up and left. Annoying Phone Guy looked after him for a moment but didn’t move. Darcy had enough of guys infringing on her personal space however.

“I didn’t need saving,” Darcy told him abrasively.

“I know.”

“I really didn’t,” Darcy felt forced to point out.

He put his arms up in a defensive gesture. “Ok, sorry,” he said, frowning at her.

Darcy glared at him, wishing him away. If he’d hoped that his “rescue” would somehow endear him to her and give him an opening to hit on her, he was mistaken.

He looked at her in what seemed to be honest confusion. “Anyway,” he said, stepping back, “sorry for my interference. I thought I was helping. I’ll leave you to your book.”

Darcy watched him walk away with narrowed eyes. His ass looked amazing in his shorts, she had to admit to herself.

~*~

The next morning Darcy was up early for a change. While she waited for the coffee maker to be finished, she looked out of the window. Annoying Phone Guy was just jogging past. She felt a little bad about her reaction yesterday, he had helped after all. While she’d met a few too many “nice guys” in her life, maybe she should’ve given him the benefit of the doubt. He did, after all, back off immediately when he’d noticed her less than welcoming attitude.

She stepped outside to see where he was going. She had no idea where his room or his villa was or where he was headed in general, but maybe she’d be able to catch him if he had to make his way back past her villa. Then she would say thank you and leave it at that.

She waited for only 10 minutes before she saw him approach and then narrowed her eyes, seriously reconsidering her decision. He was shirtless. While he definitely had the body to pull it off, shirtless jogging put him into some serious douchebag category. Darcy sighed, weighed her options, and then decided to approach him anyway. He had been nice yesterday and she hadn’t said thank you. She owed him that much.

She waved at him. He frowned for a moment but then made his way over to her. He was barely out of breath and Darcy seriously reconsidered her decision once again. Maybe he was just messing around, not really working out, hoping to be noticed, preening around like a peacock or something. Who was up at this hour anyway? Housekeeping? Maybe he was trying to seduce a couple of the maids with his shenanigans.

She cradled her coffee mug in her hands. If he turned out to be a douche, she could still throw the hot liquid at his bare chest. That would show him.

He approached her, smiling at her a little confusedly. He stopped before her, looked at her expectantly and Darcy was pleased to see that his eyes stayed on her face the entire time.

“Good morning,” she said.

He squinted at her for a moment like he wasn’t sure what her goal was. “Good morning,” he then replied.

“You’re not supposed to be up that early on vacation,” Darcy said lightly.

“Early riser, I’m afraid, from my years of-” he stopped himself. “Sorry,” he said, grinning sheepishly, which Darcy found very adorable, “I was told not to supply the details of my sorry life to people I meet on vacation.”

“You can give me your name though,” Darcy prodded.

“Oh right, yes.” He colored a little. “That I can. I’m Steve.”

“Well, Steve, thanks for your interference yesterday. While I didn’t need your help, I am woman enough to admit that you got rid of the guy more effectively.”

“You’re welcome,” he told her earnestly.

“Anyway, my breakfast beckons and you should put on a shirt.” She turned around to leave.

“Hey,” he called after her. “You never told me your name.”

“It’s Darcy,” she called back over her shoulder.

~*~

She saw Steve a couple of time the next few days. He seemed nice, earnest, but kept his distance. He greeted her when they met each other, wished her a Merry Christmas on the 25th, but didn’t approach her again. Darcy asked herself what he, another lonely traveler by the looks of it, was doing on the island.

A day later Darcy decided she had enough of being lazy for a while and decided to venture into the city. She was on her way to the lobby to ask the concierge to call her a taxi when she ran into Steve.

“Hey Darcy,” he greeted her kindly.

“Steve,” she said.

He pointed at her hat and camera. “You venturing out?”

“Yup, I think I’ll explore the island for a bit.”

He nodded approvingly. “Have fun,” he told her earnestly.

Darcy looked after him for a moment. “Hey Steve,” she then called out on a whim. “Have you explored the island yet?”

He turned around and looked at her questioningly for a moment. “Because I’m about to head into the city and I was wondering-” Darcy stopped herself because now, saying it out loud, the idea sounded ridiculous. He probably just wanted to be left alone. She took a deep breath. “I was wondering if you’d wanted to tag along,” she finished lamely.

His eyes lit up at the suggestion. “I’ve been to the city for a bit, but I’d love to come along!” he said enthusiastically. “Give me five minutes and I’ll be right with you.”

His reaction immediately reassured her that she wasn’t annoying him or anything. Maybe he was just a lonely soul who would be glad to have some company.

As promised, he met her in the lobby of their hotel where their taxi was already waiting for them. They sat inside and, much to her surprise, Steve talked to their driver in perfect French. Darcy stared at him, she hadn’t expected that at all and she also hadn’t considered the language aspect so far. Darcy, in all her glory as the clichéd American tourist, had fully expected to pass with English only. This was a major tourist destination after all.

“Wow,” she breathed, impressed, when he turned his attention back to her.

Steve ducked his head in embarrassment. “It’s nothing,” he tried to wave it off.

“It sure is something,” Darcy told him.

“Thanks,” he simply said.

“How did you learn?” Darcy wanted to know. “You sound so natural.”

“I just picked it up here and there,” he explained with a throwaway gesture. “It’s a… useful skill to have in my line of work.”

They sat next to each other in silence for the remainder of their short drive. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence however. Darcy looked out of the window taking in the island and the breathtaking vistas and Steve seemed to be doing the same on his side of the car.

The taxi dropped them in the old city and they ambled towards the harbor first.

“So, Steve, tell me, what are you doing here on the island all by yourself?” Darcy finally prompted.

He shrugged, a gesture which seemed a little artificial. “Just vacation,” he said. “I don’t really get much free time… or take much free time that is. Bit of a workaholic I’m afraid.”

“Yeah, I saw you on the ferry,” Darcy told him. “Or rather, heard you. You were on your phone the entire time.”

He looked sheepish at that. “Yeah, sorry, I… people tell me I identify a little too much with my work. I’m having some difficulty letting go sometimes.”

They next made their way towards an old fort that was built in the 18th century to protect the island. It was a short uphill hike from the city, but the exercise was well worth it; the view was stunning.

Darcy stopped and took in the amazing view before here and took the obligatory picture while Steve wandered around, taking a curious look at all the now ruined fortifications. He grinned when he found the replica of an 19th century cannon.

“Military history is amazing,” he told her, looking a little too excited.

“Whatever you say,” Darcy said, grinning at his antics. “You’ve seen it all? Are you capable of defending the island on your own now?”

“I think I’ll manage. With you as my second in command, it would be a slam dunk.”

Darcy laughed, but didn’t say anything.

“Shall we head back to the town and find something to eat?” Steve suggested.

Darcy nodded. “That sounds like a great idea.”

They ambled through the town’s narrow streets. School must just have finished because the streets were filled with children of school age.

Darcy stopped to admire artwork on a historic building and when she turned around, Steve was gone. She looked around, but couldn’t see him. “Steve?” she called out, but there was no answer.

Darcy decided that he probably hadn’t realized that she had stopped and walked on. She would probably catch up with him soon enough and if not, they’d just make their way back to the hotel separately. They were both adults after all.

She walked a little further down the road and stopped once more to admire a balcony on the other side of the narrow street that was overflowing with a wide array of flowers. She searched her bag for her camera to take a picture when a gaggle of schoolgirls passed and suddenly there was a push and Darcy fell onto the street.

Darcy yelped in surprise and it took a second or two to catch her bearings. She managed to get up on all fours and look around for a second, looking for her hat. When she looked around, she saw a car approaching at high speed.

Darcy stared at the oncoming car, absolutely paralyzed. It started honking but didn’t slow down – at least it seemed that way. It would definitely hit her.

Darcy closed her eyes and waited for the impact.

Strong arms grabbed her by her hips and hauled her upright in a feat that seemed almost superhuman, then managed to half carry, half drag her back onto the sidewalk. A strong body pressed her against the wall and the car, honking loudly, drove past seconds later.

Darcy took a few deep breaths. Then some more. Then she opened her eyes to see who had saved her. A stranger with a cap pulled low over his face looked back at her.

Darcy stared at him. “Th- th- thank you!” she finally managed to stammer.

“No problem,” he answered gruffly, releasing her. He took a step back and surveilled the area with an aura of unnatural alertness.

“You- you saved my life!” Darcy said.

He seemed to start a throwaway gesture but instead looked around nervously, realizing that they’d started to attract a bit of a crowd.

“Darcy,” she heard her name spoken up behind her and turned around. Steve was making his way towards her.

“Hey,” he said, looking at her concernedly. “What happened.”

Darcy took a deep breath. “I- I don’t know,” she then said honestly. “I think… somebody shoved me?”

“Shoved you?” he repeated, surprised.

“Yeah…”

He stared at her for a moment. “But you’re alright?” he asked softly.

“Yes, this guy saved-” her voice faltered when she looked around and noticed that her mysterious savior had disappeared into thin air. “A stranger saved me,” she said quietly.

“Thank god!” He looked at her earnestly. “Enough exploring for a day. Let’s head back to the hotel.”

~*~

After the excitement of the prior day, Darcy decided to stay at her villa the next day. Her experience yesterday had rattled her more than she’d originally thought.

She also wondered what had happened to her mysterious savior… He’d been behaving so strangely. In retrospect, his timely appearance seemed to raise even more questions. Now that she thought about it, Darcy realized that he hadn’t been a local. He’d been American, she was almost 100% sure of it. But, for a reason Darcy couldn’t put her finger on, he hadn’t seemed like a clichéd American tourist.

Steve checked up on her after breakfast to make sure that she was alright and sat with her for a while but then disappeared to do whatever he was doing on his vacation.

Darcy spent two more days safely ensconced at the resort until Steve persuaded her to check out a restaurant in town he had heard good things about.

“I’m not dressing up or anything,” Darcy told Steve immediately. “We’re just having dinner, that’s all.”

He grinned at her. “Fine with me,” he said. “I have to grab something from my place. See you in the lobby in 15?”

Steve was running late, so Darcy sat in the lobby for a few minutes, watching the comings and goings. There wasn’t much going on, but the arrival of a person on a motorcycle caught her eye.

Due to the narrow streets, motorcycles were popular on the island and many locals drove in shorts and shirts, without apparent worry. The man now parking the motorcycle in front of the hotel entrance however was wearing a jacket and gloves. He must be dying in the heat.

When he turned around, Darcy realized that it was the stranger who had saved her life. He entered the hotel lobby and took a right turn, away from her.

Darcy jumped up from her seat and ran after him. “Hey!” she called out but he didn’t react.

When she finally caught up to him, she grabbed him by the arm to stop him. He turned around, immediately tense and on high alert, making Darcy step back in surprise. His gaze softened somewhat when he recognized her, but she immediately noticed that his eyes still shifted around nervously.

Darcy scrutinized him for a second. He looked a little unkempt, there was a few days’ worth of stubble on his face and he should probably get a haircut. He didn’t look like a typical guest at the resort, but that didn’t necessarily mean anything. Maybe he was one of the uber rich oddballs that looked like they slept under a bridge but had billions on various bank accounts in tax havens all over the world.

“You just disappeared on me after you’d saved my life!” Darcy told him, remembering why she had stopped him to begin with.

“Oh,” he made a cut-off motion with his right hand, “no-”

“I didn’t even have time to properly say thank you!”

“Really, it’s no problem at all. No thanks needed,” he said. Darcy realized that she’d been right. He was American. She thought she could hear the hint of a New York accent.

“What’s your name?” Darcy asked.

“I… um…” he stuttered, “it’s really not necessary.”

Darcy frowned at him. “Just your name,” she then repeated.

Her savior took a deep breath and seemed to think for a moment. “James,” he then said, “it’s James.”

“Well James, you’re far too modest. Thanks for saving my life. I don’t know how-”

“Darcy?” she could hear Steve call out.

“Over here!” Darcy answered and turned around to wave at him. “Anyway,” she began and turned around again. But her savior – James – had once again disappeared into thin air.

She stared at the empty space for a moment. “How does he do that?”

~*~

It was a pleasant evening and Steve had been right to convince her to go out, Darcy admitted to herself. And it was nice, this innocent flirt did wonders for her confidence, which had taken a rather humongous hit lately. Steve was good company and if he weren’t so earnest and polite, this would be fairly seductive.

Of course Darcy had considered having sex with him. It wasn’t much of a challenge to imagine it… Great body, baby blues, an ass that wouldn’t quit. And he was here. He was alone, she was alone. She knew almost nothing about him; she didn’t even know his last name. And after she left the island, they would never see each other again. Maybe some deeply satisfying – or even some average – sex with a veritable stranger would be good to get Mark’s betrayal out of her system, well a good first step towards that at least.

But no-strings-attached sex wasn’t really something that Darcy did. And Steve, while nice and attentive, was a little too earnest and straight-laced for her taste.

The food was great though and conversation flowed easily. That was, until Darcy suddenly felt that something very strange was going on with her body. It started with a tingling in her hands, a feeling that moved to the top of her head, making her feel like a thousand ants were running across her scalp.

Her tongue suddenly felt too large for her mouth and the air in the restaurant felt like it was 100 degrees. Darcy moved to grab her glass of water but instead only managed to knock it over, drenching the tablecloth.

This made Steve stare at her in concern. Breathing became a struggle, then there was an overwhelming pain in her stomach. Swallowing became painful, her breath came out in short, difficult bursts.

“Steve,” she managed to press out. She felt dizzy. Her heart hammered in her chest.

“Darcy?” Steve said questioningly. “Are you alright?”

Darcy’s breath grew labored; she felt like she was going to pass out. Steve jumped up from his chair and was by her side within seconds. “Darcy. Darcy doll, stay with me. Darcy, stay with me,” were the last things she heard before she blacked out.

~*~

When Darcy came to, Steve was cradling her head in his lap. “Shh,” he said to calm her down, “an ambulance is on its way.”

“What- what happened?”

“You went into anaphylactic shock,” he explained calmly. “Anything you’re deadly allergic to?”

It took Darcy a moment to register is question. “Peanuts,” she then managed to say, “peanuts.”

“You didn’t carry an EpiPen,” Steve continued. “You were lucky that one of the other guests had one.”

Darcy stared up at him, not quite comprehending what he said. Usually, she always had one in her purse. She asked herself if she’d taken it out, if she had misplaced it somehow, but that seemed unlikely. She would think about it later, she told herself, when her thoughts would be clearer.

The ambulance arrived and the two medics insisted on bringing her to the local hospital for further exams. Steve stayed with her the entire time and held her hand all the way to the hospital.

A fresh-faced, overzealous resident refused to discharge Darcy and wanted to keep her for observation. She didn’t feel like putting up much of a fight, so she stayed the night at the hospital and Steve took his leave of her.

Darcy was still disoriented. She hadn’t had an anaphylactic episode in years, maybe a decade even, she was too careful for that. She was sure that the food in the restaurant hadn’t meant to include any peanuts or the like. This was one weird accident.

~*~

New Year’s Eve was Darcy’s last day on the island. The next day, she would take the ferry back to St Maarten and fly home, to the shambles of her life. She didn’t really want to think about it.

The day itself started weird enough. After Darcy returned from her morning swim, she found a maid in her house that was… rearranging her things.

She startled when Darcy entered and Darcy thought that, for a moment, a flash of guilt crossed her face.

“I was just… arranging things, Miss,” she then said a little too cheery for Darcy’s taste.

Darcy squinted at her for a second, not sure how to react. She had never seen this maid before and she didn’t fit the bill of a maid. It wasn’t just how she was dressed and her attitude, she also wasn’t local like almost everybody else that was employed at the hotel complex. Her English was nearly impeccable but there were traces of an unknown accent there. Eastern European, Darcy decided, or maybe Russian.

“I don’t like people touching my stuff,” Darcy just said quietly.

The maid colored and looked at her feet. “I’m sorry,” she then said.

“It’s alright,” Darcy said.

“Please don’t say anything,” the maid rushed out. “It’s the first time I’m doing this… I mean, it’s my first day.”

“It’s alright,” Darcy looked down to read the nametag on her chest, “Natalie.”

“Thank you,” the maid said gratefully. “I’m going to finish up and you’ll barely notice me.”

She spent the day with Steve in the town, watching the St. Barth’s New Year’s Eve Regatta and had food afterwards. They made their way back to the hotel shortly after midnight, after the fireworks display over the marina had ended.

They strolled barefoot along the beach towards their respective houses. Darcy was pleasantly buzzed and felt more carefree than she had in a long time. She was glad that Steve hadn’t made a pass at her. She wasn’t sure that if, in this state, she would be able to resist his earnest advances.

They stopped and stared into the distance for a moment. The only sound was the soft gushing of the waves.

Steve turned to her. There was a challenging gleam in his eyes. “Let’s go skinny dipping,” he suggested out of the blue.

Darcy stared at him in surprise for a moment. “We really shouldn’t-” she began.

“Come on, it’s going to be fun!”

“Steve-” Darcy protested, but he was already running away from her, pulling his shirt over his head, and headed towards the water.

“Come on,” he turned around and called for her, “the water is so nice!”

“I really shouldn’t,” Darcy called after him.

“Darcy, you’re leaving tomorrow. Just let your hair down for one last night.”

“Steve-” Darcy said half-heartedly, but he didn’t let her finish.

“Last one in the water is a rotten egg!”

Darcy thought for a moment, but then started running after him. He was right, it was her last night, she should just do it and damn the consequences. She pulled her dress over her head and stepped out of her underwear, making a small pile a few feet away from the water’s edge.

Steve was already swimming a couple of feet away from her, happily splashing around in the water.

“This is heavenly,” he told her.

Darcy took a deep breath and then stepped into the ocean. The water was warm and soft around her body. Steve was right, this was heavenly.

He had swum a few feet further into the water, so Darcy swam up to him. “Satisfied?” she challenged.

“Very,” he said in a tone should couldn’t quite place, but before she could say anything further, he was coming towards her. Darcy stared at him in surprise, hoping that he really wouldn’t kiss her, but instead he leaned heavily onto her shoulders and pushed her underwater.

Darcy’s eyes widened in surprise and all the air left her lungs. For a moment she thought that this was just a very bad joke, but Steve was still pushing her and not letting go. Darcy struggled and kicked around, but his grip on her was like iron.

She couldn’t breathe. Panic seized her lungs. She would die now, Darcy realized. She would drown and then wash ashore and nobody would care. She tried one more time to push towards the surface, but she couldn’t manage. Her movements became increasingly sluggish and uncoordinated.

She had all but resigned to her fate, when suddenly the pressure was gone. Addled from the lack of oxygen, it took her a moment to realize this. There was thrashing in the water right next to her and then stillness.

Darcy kicked and pawed her way upwards, breaking the surface, taking huge, choking breaths. Somebody grabbed her by the arm and dragged her towards the shore. When Darcy finally felt the sand beneath her, she dropped onto the beach in exhaustion.

She was gasping for air and occasionally coughing, then she slowly blinked the water from her eyes and noticed that somebody was lying next to her and a third person was towering over them. She managed to drag herself up enough to take a look at her rescuer, the guy who had just pulled her from the water and managed to overpower her assailant.

She stared at him in shock when she recognized him. “James?”

~*~

James was bent over Steve, making sure that he was out for good, it seemed. Then he turned around to address her.

He wiped his wet blond hair from his eyes, then blinked at her for a moment before he pulled his shirt over his head and held it out to her. “I know it’s wet but… maybe…” he made an awkward gesture with his other hand, “if you want to cover up.”

Right, she was naked. She had kind of forgotten that in the shuffle.

She took the shirt and put it on. It was wet and clammy, but fell to the middle of her thighs and covered her – at least as far as a wet white t-shirt could. She looked around but her clothing was nowhere to be seen.

They stood there for a moment, then James opened his mouth as if to say something, when they heard somebody approaching. Darcy looked around to see the young maid she had seen at her house this morning, running towards them. So she hadn’t been a maid after all.

“I got here as fast as I... Oh.” She surveyed the scene for a moment, her eyes travelling between a shirtless James, Darcy in his shirt, and a butt naked, unconscious Steve lying on the ground next to them. It must be an incredibly weird display.

“They went skinny dipping and he tried to drown her,” James explained curtly.

“Oh, okay,” the young woman answered.

“Can you make sure that he won’t wake up again?” he asked.

She just nodded, knelt next to the unconscious Steve, and put her hands on both sides of his temples. Darcy stared as red energy beams flowed right out of her hands.

“We need to alert the others, tell them that the timeline’s changed and that they need to move in now. I guess we have 18 hours max before all hell breaks loose.”

“You got it, Cap.”

“And we need to arrange the transport for… him of course.”

The young woman nodded.

“And probably something to cover him.”

Darcy felt increasingly stupid just standing there while the young woman, who was obviously powered, and her savior, whose name probably wasn’t even James, spoke in short, clipped tones about their next plans. Apparently, they had somebody who take Steve’s place somewhere, to impersonate him, and they needed to move quickly now.

“I’m just gonna-” she began, gesturing towards her house in the distance, “find some dry clothes.”

James looked at her in surprise for a moment, as if he’d forgotten that she was there. “I’m coming with you,” he then said, falling into step next to her. “Wanda, you got this, right? Can you clean out our room too? Be at the jet in 30.”

The young woman nodded curtly, then used her… energy or whatever it was, to lift the unconscious Steve from the ground and moved him in the direction of the beachside house he’d stayed in.

They walked next to each other in awkward silence for a moment. It was such a weird situation. Everything Darcy thought she knew had been turned upside down. Why had Steve wanted to kill her? And what was James’ role in all of this? And who were they?

“I’m sorry, but you can’t call the police,” James told her.

“Yeah, I gathered that already. Were you just following to make sure that I wouldn’t do that?”

“Yep, for the most part. Also because I thought you might have some questions?” he prompted.

Darcy didn’t say anything though.

“And to get my shirt back,” he added.

“Harhar,” Darcy said humorlessly.

“Wasn’t meant to be funny. I have a plane to catch after this and-” he broke off.

They walked next to each other in silence.

“Is James even your real name?” Darcy finally decided to ask.

“No, it’s not.”

“And?” she asked expectantly.

“It’s Steve-”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

“Rogers.”

“Oh nooooooooo,” Darcy stopped short when she realized who he was. That’s why the young woman – the Scarlet Witch – had called him “Cap”. Darcy groaned. “Did I just scandalize Captain America with my nakedness?”

“Not scandalize really-” Captain America began.

“Great,” Darcy cut him off. “This vacation is getting better and better. You’re not supposed to do this any longer,” she said gruffly. “Accords and all that.”

He snorted at that. “I’m sorry for saving your life,” he then deadpanned. “I don’t think I would’ve gotten UN approval in time to jump into the water though.”

“Who was he?” Darcy finally asked.

“His real name is unknown, but he calls himself ‘The Silent Killer.’” Captain America looked like he had to try hard to suppress an eye roll. “He’s a notorious assassin.”

“Why was he targeting me? Or was I just at the wrong place at the wrong time?”

“Well, it’s… um… It’s because of your job.”

“My job? What?” She stared at him. “The one I got fired from?”

“That would be the one.”

“This is ridiculous. It’s not like it’s the secret alliance or something where you end up with a bullet in your head because you decide to leave.”

“Um…” Captain America began, “only it kind of is?”

Darcy stopped to stare at him. “What?”

“Have you ever…” he cleared his throat awkwardly, “have you ever wondered who you worked for?”

“A bank? I was assistant to the branch manager.”

“Only, it wasn’t really a bank, it was a front for an international terrorist alliance. And they didn’t take too kindly to you figuring out those… irregularities.”

Darcy’s jaw practically fell to the floor. “I was one of the grunts at Credit Dauphine?” she asked, flabbergasted. “That didn’t know that Sydney Bristow was in the basement, saving the world?”

“Um-”

“It’s from a TV show-” Darcy began to explain.

“No, I get that reference, just trying to figure out what to say.” He scratched the back of his neck. “The comparison is kind of… apt.”

“Holy shit.” Darcy was shocked to silence for a moment and Captain America didn’t say anything either.

“I hope you’re taking them down,” Darcy then said.

“That’s kind of the plan, yes. The assassin is our way in.”

“Good,” Darcy nodded approvingly. “So you were assigned to protect me?” she asked.

“No. I was following him. He’s a master of disguise, we only knew of him by reputation and there were no pictures of him. We had to confirm that it was really him first and also all get in position. Your… swimming adventure upended that time plan a little, but we’ll manage and hopefully destroy the criminal network in one swoop. You were… there. We had to figure out if you were with the bad guys or just had poor taste in men.”

“Why thank you,” Darcy said acerbically.

“Sorry, I mean… you’re probably reeling from your breakup and you’re on the… rebound?” He cleared his throat awkwardly. “And he’s a professional, naturally he’d know how to play you…”

Darcy stopped and stared at him for a second. “I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but you should probably get back to telling me the facts of the case.”

Captain America let out a relieved breath. “Good, well, turns out, you were the target. As soon as we realized that, we rushed to rescue you.”

“So I was pushed in front of that car on that day in the city…” Darcy realized, “the peanuts in my food… those weren’t really accidents.”

“No, they weren’t.”

They continued walking along the beach.

“Why did he do that?” Darcy asked quietly. “He had orders to kill me, he could just have gone for a bullet in the head or something.”

“That’s kind of his-” Captain America grimaced, “it’s his spiel, I guess. He likes the challenge, he likes to-”

“Play with his food,” Darcy said. “He’s like a murderous cat or something. He plays with his food.”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“So, you apparently know that I’m recently broken up from my cheating douchebag fiancé. Do you know everything about me?” Darcy wanted to know.

He nodded. “By now, yes. We might no longer have the intelligence resources we were used to and it took a little longer than we would’ve liked, but yeah… we know about you.”

“Is that why the Scarlett Witch was going through my things this morning?”

“Yes,” he confirmed, “she was checking you out.”

“She’s terrible at undercover work,” Darcy felt forced to tell him. “She overplayed it.”

“We both are, but… we’re here. We have to make due. Like I said, we no longer have the resources we used to have.”

Darcy nodded in understanding. “Just to check: You haven’t heard from Thor in a while either, have you?”

“No.”

They’d arrived at Darcy’s house and stepped inside. Darcy handed Captain America a towel to dry off before going to her room to change into her sweatpants and an oversized shirt. She’d get a shower later.

She came back out and handed him his wet shirt back.

His wet, longish hair was standing up in weird spikes. It made him look strangely adorable. He put the shirt back on and grimaced at the wet and clammy feel.

“That’s it, right?” Darcy then asked.

He squinted at her for a moment. “I guess so.”

“Anything else?”

He opened his mouth as to say something, then decided against it. He scrutinized her for a moment. “Are you sure you’re going to be alright?” he then asked. “You know, you were almost killed ten minutes ago. I expected you to be a little more… hysterical?”

Darcy snorted. “I’ll be fine. Lost my job, my fiancé, almost my life… I was working for an international terrorist organization without knowing it… I’ve hit rock bottom and now I’m turning over a new leaf.”

He stared at her like he didn’t entirely believe her.

“Seriously, I’ll be fine,” Darcy repeated. “If you had between one and ten hours and not a Quinjet to catch, I’d tell you all about Puente Antiguo and Dark Elves and London and all that jazz.”

He furrowed his brow. “Okay,” he simply said. “And you’re not going to call somebody? Rat us out?”

“Your secret Avengers are safe with me,” Darcy promised.

He nodded curtly.

“Before you leave though, I have to get this out there, because I’ll not be able to talk about this with anybody ever again: ‘The Silent Killer’, that’s a terrible name for an assassin.”

Captain America broke into a grin at that. “Yeah, everybody knows that carbon monoxide is the silent killer.”

“I would’ve said high blood pressure, but thanks for kind of proving my point anyway. But you said you have a plane to catch.”

He looked at her calculatingly for a moment. “Do you need a ride?” he then offered much to Darcy’s surprise.

“Thanks, but I think that DC is kind of out of the way on your trip to Wakanda.”

“How-?” Captain America began.

“They withdrew their support for the Accords weeks after actively championing it. And it’s kind of well-known that they leaked that initial information that cost General Ross his job. I thought you knew everything about me,” Darcy said when she saw Captain America’s confused look. “I’m a political scientist. I might not have worked in my field the last few years, but political haggling, that’s my jam.”

Captain America stared at her for a moment. “Well, we’re not going to Wakanda,” he then told her. “We’re regrouping some place else and DC is not far out of the way.”

“So where are you headed?”

“I can’t tell you that. You’d need to be part of my secret Avengers for that,” he joked.

Darcy chuckled quietly at that. “You’re not what I was expecting, Captain America.”

“And I thought international news of me becoming a vigilante, a wanted criminal, and committing a nearly impossible prison break would’ve done wonders for my reputation.” He grinned at her. “And I don’t really go by Captain America any longer,” he added. “Anyway,” he looked at his watch. “I’d better be going.”

He turned towards the door, but stopped on the threshold and turned around to look at her once more, like he was appraising her. Darcy looked back at him, her brow furrowed.

He stepped back inside, grabbed a piece of paper and a pen from the nearby table and scribbled something down. “You know what,” Captain America said, handing the piece of paper to her, “when you’re back stateside and you’ve had some time to think about your life and you think that you might want to get back into the political haggling game, give me a call.”

Darcy stared at him in disbelief. “You trying to recruit me?”

“Yes. I think we could use somebody like you.”

“Would that make me a wanted criminal too?” Darcy asked half-jokingly.

“Depends on how well you work out the politics in your first few months on the job,” he shot back.

Darcy looked down at the paper in her hand and then back up at Captain America. She took a deep breath. This was entirely too crazy.

This was right up her alley.

“When’s your plane leaving again?” she asked.

“I’m the pilot so it’s not leaving without me,” he told her. “But I should probably head out in the next 15 minutes.”

“You know what,” Darcy decided. “I’ll take you up on that offer and come with you. I can start working tomorrow. I’ll be ready in 5.”

**Author's Note:**

> While writing this, it kind of became a running gag that evil!Steve would be played by Chris Pine, so please consider this the beginning of a Steve/Diana fic where Steve Trevor was given the “Bucky Barnes treatment” and is now an assassin in service to his enemies (and that I’m never going to write ;-)).  
> Also, since I led a couple of you guys astray with my image set (at least I hope so?), have [a bearded Captain America here (fan art)](http://beardedchrisevans.tumblr.com/post/168525064759/steve-rogers-in-infinity-war-by-hjavedart).


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